my life in a day.

wake up from andrew's -
come home-
shower -
got to class -
eat halfway through art is over -
leave -
no more classes for the rest of the day -
sit -
nip tuck with andrew -
library -
go home -
got to andrews -
sleep -
wake up and do it all over again. :)

but sometimes my extrememly bring schedule is interrupted was alcohol drugs or .... lolcats.com

Just recently.

I fell in love with this album, again.




As tall as lions - into the flood.
1. 505
2. into the flood
3. we are the ones that keep you warm
4. breaker
5. blacked out

into the flood (2) is definitly the best song on the album

i never really will understand.

I guess, i just realized i will never understand what is really going on at the moment. I am tired and just mentally exhausted and i want to go home and be with my family, because in the state, it is the only place i ultimately feel sane. Yet, i have the people i care so much about here, and it would make sense that i would fell that here, but i don't know, maybe i don't know what i want anymore. With school dwindling and my program being destroyed it makes me think of what i could do for the rest of my life, and as it now, it doesn't involve staying here. Sometimes i fell no relations to the people here, in a sense i know that that sounds depressing, but really i am not. i am just fed up with being here.

I miss enjoying time alone. now if i am alone i am bored and mad cause i am not with that person/people and i am sick of the feeling. but i don't want to loose those people i love those people and i couldn't even think of living without them. but, stability comes in different forms then alcohol, drugs, and being friendly.
I really don't want to go home this weekend but i think it would be good for me to leave this bubble behind and go to the one i know best, in oakville. i hate that place but at times like these i know it is the only thing that will make me feel better.

gah enough ranting. i fear what the opposite doesn't feel that same. humm i guess we will never know.

bye bye

today.

I hope this is just temporary, becuase i know nothing else then it. After yesterday and the reminder i miss it more then ever. And now i have somehting like it. and i don't want to continue to lose it all over again. it suck yeah whatever

i miss oakville.
as bad of a place that it is, i miss my family.
kingstin sucks - it is like the bad part of oakville,
but really there is nothing here that i would stay for.
other then my friends, andrew.
Not even the fact i am paying 6 grand to stay here throughout the year.
i would leave.

Right now i am so happy! i actually lovvvvveee doing work it is my favourite thing. I would be even happier if i had sushi because it is sooooo ghud! omg!??!111!!!

oh btw i h8 4NDR3W

it is hailing outside.

ok so, i came to the library to work on some essay stuff and, basicallyy it is hailing and i am so tired and i need a coffee but i can't get one cause it is hailing so bad, Nor can i leave the library to go home because it is so bad outside. odd? i think so. oh and the fact that my essay is about hermaphrodites and society, i am not as happy as i would like to be, there is only so much to say. i am hungry, but not really i just want to eat because i am bored of doing work, but i am so tired. bah! gah!

I felt like being witty.

Even though I so uncomfortable now i will force myslef to get in the shower. Having a bladder infection is actually terrible. Don't get it. All i want to do is drink gallons of water, sleep and sleep. maybe eat. I have so much work to do. and i am tried of it.

So i copied Natty poo because this is the only album that makes me happy. Actually, right now I could listen to it probably over and over and over. and over.



aren't they so cute!

here, listen wisely, fall in love.

lolcats.

superiorty

What is superiority? dominance? Especially through genetics? What we inherit?

I find it disgusting how we can put things, silly things, before blood. (I could relate this to the misery signals song, but that would be cheesy) Silly things/beliefs always take advantage of our responsibilities and importances that should be our first priority - before anything. I find it fucking ridiculous how we be so careless and still assume it is meaningless, like nothing could change one own mindset because they are way to narrow minded and arrogant. Taking advantage of a situation is one thing, but taking advantage of another's faith in you, is repulsive. At such a young age you are able to learn from the beginning that you cannot rely on one the the two people in the world your suppose to - but you just learn to deal. But, totally you cannot hate this person, you can't turn your back or get away, because in all honesty it doesn't seem that bad over all, because you have learned to cope with the whole messed up situation. Like before it was bad, now it is worse. All we have is this and and to them, we are nothing but mere subject in the message given world. Like fuck, things shitty happen all the time but in a certain situation, I think, your mindset would transform from that, you would grow? No - further away you separate yourself from a true understanding of a family. As if i was the individual in the situation i would escape, but when THAT is all the individual has - THAT is what you grow to know and you come accustom to it.

If i ever become a person like that - desert me.

sunrise, sunrise.

To end this eventful day, I listen to Norah Jones to help me attempt for the 3 time to fall asleep.

I can't sleep.

I am so tired.

This sucks.

As sad as this sounds, I can't sleep alone. If i am not sleeping with AK and I am with the roomie, and if not her, A Green and if not and I am alone - I don't sleep. Or I bring Dre in here but he makes so much noise and wants to leave. But how could I turn down this.



Too cute for life basically.

I woke up this morning with a throbbing head ache - it must have been the beer the night before. Oh, and flats in the winter are not a good idea. Do not do it. It is bad. I don't care how good you want to look, My feet almost fell off last night. But this morning was a hard attempt to get out of bed. After i finally got up, I had to say bye to AK - which I didn't like. But, i am going to windsor on tuesday so it should be fun. Got back to res, ate, and tried to regain proper thoughts. Erik came down to k-town and we drove home which was a sweet road trip.



Then once got home played some GH3. That is just what we do. And visited the Nikster at workie/my work. where she was workin hard like i told her to. hehe!

valentines day.

Today is valentine's day. The hallmark holiday. I remember when i didn't have a date at the time i hated valentines day. Seriously there is no point to it, (omg homecoming just came on on random). But, there is actually no importance for this day other then to show the person you are with how much you care about them. when, i guess if you did it too often it wouldn't be as exciting , but you should do it randomly, and valentines day is just so cheesy. it is lame.

i found a funny picture of a gold fish today.



sometimes i wish i looked like that.

my rant about the typicals.

Today i returned home to the beautiful city of Toronto, honestly i was so excited to be home, I actually missed it. I missed the city i missed my friends, family, all that jazz. I meet up with nat at the Go station which was sweet cause I haven't seen her is forever. She had to work so she left, but it was awesome to see my sister for a while. But, you know i'll see everyone this weekend so i am excited. I meet up with my brothers on front street where we started our expedition to shop. Parked and walked. Out first stop, American apparel and i just have to say one thing. As much as i love it, its contents and the appeal to it, I hate everything about it. I hate the when I go in there I am immediately judged. I mean I can be a hypocrite because i jude people, and i know i do. I don't mean to judge people, but recently i have just become critical of everything. But, As i walk in, so excited from seeing my family and shopping, one of my favorite things to do, i get put into a bad mood. I actually can't have a ridiculous conversation with my family without someone in american apparel adding there opinion to the conversion. Even i don't do that. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. They have to be stuck-up enough to not have stupid conversations and be ridiculous. it is really irritating and i wish people would just get over themselves once in a while.


Not even that i am getting sick of american apparel. It is so expensive for stuff i can make for much cheaper. and after today i decided i am not going to buy anything. I still respect it for what it is and what it stands for and think it is a great cause, but especially in kingston, i am sick of wearing the same thing as everyone else. And like the whole 'trend' that comes along with places like american apparel is ridiculous and outrageous.