Im getting there.

Today i got to the point that i realized that i am at school. It has been 3 almost 4 weeks and today i realized how behind i am and how little i care. I don't know what to expect from school anymore. Last year it almost seemed to be exciting and new and then this year it is just old news and i feel no excitement towards work or projects. You would think that because i am in art that this would be exciting and new and fun - but i just feel like art is being pushed on me and it almost feels time consuming. In total reality what am i going to do after i leave here. Reality? nothing important probably, or i will end up going to school again for something not at all relevant to what i am here for now.
Gahhh, i think it is the absence of everything around me. Or maybe even the load of things around me. Work it probably the number one downfall after school. It is extremely boring and the people are ok. The only reason i am there is because i have a shopping problem and spend to much money on clothes, music, and coffee. It just works out that way i guess.
And in a way i miss home. I miss my family and friends and in a way - i really hate to say this i kind of miss oakville. things just seemed less complicated compared to living here. Money is stressful.

Point in case Money is stressful. i love spending it, but can't save it. hummmm. i need to work more.

i like to over react.

Iknow, in the midst of my over thinking mind there is some settle ground that keeps me sane. I actually have a headache from thinking so much today. My head feels the pain.

Sometimes i wish i kept a journal of entries of stories or things i have thought up, and then they can be printed for me to read or and edit and thought that realized how i constantly over think things. But what if i am not over thinking things and thinking them through properly - abd that is something i do not want to be missing out on.

my mind makes up situations the a) could very possibly happen b) would never happen. or c) could be happening at the moment.
you never know what happens when your not around. things work in mysterious ways i know that.

but in all honesty i am really put in a awkward situation right now, and it sucks. and i don't know if i should confront the person and see what happens. but if i let things happen - this situation - in my head - terribly hard and my head will definitely hurt more then this. Although it is 2:30 in the morning and i am incredibly tired.
but due to this 'situation' i am in a bad state to sleep .

i hate this.

ok, so in spite -

I spite i will.....

believe a liar as a figure to a trusting daughter.
take as much form one as i can.
Leave to never deal with the situation.

All very ridiculous and upsetting to think, 'hey, this is a good idea.' Which it is not. And finally i got to the point where i feel as if I am being unreasonable or more like it irrational to a person i am suppose to confide in through every aspect of life. I just don't see how a person can being so unbearably two-faced and narrowminded at the same time. As if making the decision to start the a family was forced in the beginning. To add a point it probably was just because, they, as in, this person I am reffering to doesn't know how to raise a family, because they were:
a) never taught
b) never cared
c) never had a chance
d) never had time.
or e) stuck in a bad situation and left with something already started without you.

I can understand the situation, and i really don't like it.

i hate living at home.

talking trash under you breath

so i finally got a day off and with it i transform my new-vintage gloria vanderbilt classic blue jeans into highwaisted blue shorts. they are cute i must say. and discovered that a older purchase at vv boutique is infact an authentic vintage chanel scarf, which i got for a mere 3 dollers. bloaw bloaw.
check it out at daluckyones.blogspot.com.

anyway this weekend my and the ak are ventureing up to home, and by that i mean kingston to explore my new house and paint that dirty messs! i am overly excited because i get to be with my baby at school just like before summer started.

Today while i traveled for 14 hours of my day, i realized.

at times i wish i were a hobbit.
scampper through the tall grass and lookup to different arrays of colours from the blooming flowers.
gaze up into the sky and watch the trees sway.
it seems so alluring.

it's been a while

So i haven't written on here in a long long time, and it almost seems weird.
i miss it in a self expressive mystery kind of way, you know.

this weekend tired out to be a complete drain, minus the attendance of my amazing ak, that came down for almost a week and ahemm "missed" his train on friend. Which made me extraordinarily happy.
So from an accumulation of waiting at my fathers hand and foot and the distant help from my siblings, my weekend with my baby was overtaken by too many hours sitting in a energy powered car listening to hip hop and pondering about the seemingly endless traffic. So all in all, though happy to see my ak, the annoyance of my non responsive family made my week a bust as in, i wish it didn't happen, or so annoyed i wish i work, or most applicable i wish i was in windsor this weekend.

soon enough i will be in windsor soaking the sun and drinking iced coffees with my amazing ak. Or even higher hopes, I will be in Kingston soaking the rays in my house, in my room, with my room mates and late night sneak ins.

I want to bake. I want cookies or cupcakes so i can put effort into making. Or maybe i just want to sleep. Actually i just want to read, read a novel that is interesting or at least more interesting then my extremely boring life i hold.

Working at second cup is really, really becoming a drag. I enjoy the people and free coffee but 1. the hours suck with means a. i have so much time to do nothing and b. i have no money. and c. if i wanted to do something i have no money to do so. you know?
2. i just want to go to kingston so thinking about working to go back to pay for a house kills me. andd
3. i think we all know this reason, and i am just not going to say it because i am just getting repetitive.

i just want to take my kitty to kingston.

for some reason, i am unbearably tired.
I don't know why, but i just was lying down and fell asleep like 6 times and worke up again.
and i am still so tired.
i hope i am not sick cause that would suck, incredibly.

I just want to go back.

it is too frustrating here. I can't get around anywhere, i spend all my fucking money on food and shit and i can't be with my baby. I hate this town, it is so cliche with everything in it. so ordinary so alike, it sickens me. I just want to go back and not have to depend on this house anymore because it always fucks up.
I am trying to prove i am independent but i am not, or they always make me feel like i am not. i just want to be able to not depend on anything anymore, cause then ill never get fucked over. gah, i am just so frustrated with being here wasting my days inside doing nothing, i am bored with myself so i spend money and become more dependent. i hate it here. i just want my baby and to go back.

Summer in the city

I found a song, well re-listened to a song by regina spektor and realized this so is amazing and lyrically lifting in a cynical kind of way.

Summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I've been staying up and drinking in a late night establishment
Telling strangers personal things

Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
So I went to a protest just to rub up against strangers
And I did feel like coming but I also felt like crying
It doesn't seem so worth it right now

And the castrated ones stand in the corner smoking
They want to feel the bulges in their pants start to rise
At the site of a beautiful woman they feel nothing but
Anger, her skin makes them sick in the night nauseaous, nauseaous, nauseaous

Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
I've been hallucinating you, babe, at the backs of other women
And I tap on their shoulder and they turn around smiling
But there's no recognition in their eyes

Oh summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And don't get me wrong, dear, in general I'm doing quite fine
It's just when it's summer in the city, and you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes

When it's summer in the city
And you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes


My baby is coming tonight, i am so excited i don't even know what to do with myself. i miss him so much. Basically listen to rural alberta advantage - The air. that is how i feel without him.

hum

honest question. do you think old people cheat of their elderly partners?
i mean if young people are unhappy in relationship - then must old people, they are at thhe last of their ages. I can
t even imagine finding out if you were the other perople (getting cheated on) so in love with the person that your with them for so long, that you choose to stay with them untill you die, and you find out the don't love you, and your left to mourn in thought i may never fall in love again. you only fall in love a limited amount of times in your life.
hum, just a question

on my own.

Honestly, I know working is good and you make money - and clearly I am one to talk because I think I spend an obscene amount of money on clothes, shoes, and accessories. But, I have to stop. It is getting out of hand because I need money for school because -
a) I go to school for art, meaning i have to pay for supplies OUCH!
b) I go to one of the most expensive schools in Ontario - Queens OUCH!
c) I am kinda a vegetarian/only buy organic food OUCH!
d) I have to buy art books and beyondddddd - OUCH.

So in reality I shouldn't go shopping every week and always buy something/buy food, when I can make it at home, or buy coffee seeing as how I get it at work for free.
Also, I spend money on trainsssss, lots of trains. Trains to toronto and back, Kingston and dearly Windsor (L). As much as I love going to these places and loove the people in these places - it is expensive, not to mention even driving. Goddamn gas.

I have had a splitting head ache all day and i freely chose to get cooffee, lovely. not fun. Also, my baby left to Chicago today. Even thought it is closer to me, i ccan;t hear his voice and it kills me. i miss him so much.

I just came up with the idea - I am going to make a shopping blog. I get bored alot and i like taking pictures so ill take picture of everything I buy/find/alter or stuff other people buy/find/alter.

starting nowwww or tomorrow. i am tired right now and have to wake up at 5.

IN ALL SINCERITY..

THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. humm, what a beautiful song dedicated to being straight edge. <3 lulz.

i miss hardcore/puck and all it has to offer. Unlike new wave music that is out there, i am sorry but aka electroica, i feel like it is emotionless and unsatisfactory. I need something more energetic, lively i guess i mean something with background something that is wanted or needed to be said - and not just danceable (which it is all very danceable, but in a much more violent way) when I hear when people are passionate about this music, they seem so interested about what they are talking about and so concentrated and honestly i am sorry to the wonderful hipsters out there, i feel like i wasted my time on electronica/house/dance. I know in a way these artists make music to make music, and aren't just doing it so the sake of the scene surrounding it, or at least i hope not.


I am at work right now, like everyother day. Wake up at 5 go to work for 6, go home at 4. Sleep and go out. n a way i am happy because I am working and making money, but i am wasteing life working. i know it, and i despise that it is true. GAH!! and another problem i drink way to much caffine when i am here - just destorying my stomach, thats cool (Y).

p.s - I like when customers ask me may name and then i have to repeat it like 5 or 6 times because they can't pronouce it and it the end - i just end up telling them my name is something it isn't because it is easier.

example:
cus:hey how are you? whats your name?
me:Brienne
cus: oh Brianne
me: uh,, no brienne like bri - n
cus: oh like brianne
me: ummm, no brienne (questionable look on my face)
cus: brianne?
me: you can call me brie
cus: brie?
me: yea like the cheese?
cus: oh cute!
me: OMFG!

i just don;t understand people and how incapable they can be - gawd.

anyway computer is going to die. payce/

at times like these.

At times like these, Pelican takes over my life and makes you realize music is amazing all over again. especially when work sucks and home sucks, this some how makes it seem worth it.

yea.

i love him.

in reality.

So, tomorrow i am going on the hunt for a new job. This job doesn't have to be amazing, but it must give me shifts. Currently at my place of employment i am stuck with bitch shifts that get left over because my manager is a lair and pomised me lots of hours but new employees are getting more then me, ridiculous? I think so. It is almost embarressing that i am staying there, only because it is a fun job, but in honestly i just want to go. it isn't fair that i am placed into it. gahhh! i can't believe i came back for this. i could've found an actual full time job in kingston and payed my rent and what not. Fuck, i am screwed. i don't have enough money for rent for june, or july so far. i need to find a new job.

I ventured out east to montreal for a night and spent 120, that is way to much money, because i am going to winsdsor this weekend to see andrew and i have no money. humm. really i am not in a good si tuation right not. i passed by kingston today and i missed it so much. i am such a baby when it comes to this, i know - but i can't help it. Today was just a bad day. i woke up like 216312786 times last night one of which was to puke my guts out, which ended in lots of dry heaving and nothing coming out. and waking up to my dry itchy throat and uncomfortable sheeting arrangments. 6 hour drive home, it is just a tired day.
i just want to sleep - but i can't. i am so tired. gahhh. and i work tomorrow.
i just want friday to come. that is all i really want.

first day of work.

...i'd be wrong.

and i was, fuck. work sucks my balls.
gah, i just wish i stayed in kingston. :(
plus, my feet hurt so much, never wear flats on a ten hours shift.
my allergies so so bad omg, every morning i wake up and can't even open my eyes cause they are like puffed shut (i look like a balloon) it is kinda silly really though. but now! my skin is mad dry.
i haven't seen ak in 4 days, it is so weird i miss him so much. gahh...
i work tomorrow too, with a kid named christian. never met him, new kids.
gah.

First day home.

Today i realized, as i was moving out from living on my own, going to school full time,i have to go home. coming home seemed so fun, but i am not work for a weeks? the reason why i didn't stay in kingston to begin with. I am already so frustrated with being here. And it is not being home, it is what reminds me of home and that i can't be in my own world. Yea, it is selfish but i miss ak so much, i miss just being silly, i miss going downtown. Oakville just fills me withs so many bad memories i can;t stand to stay. I think it is just because i am frustrated my room is disgusting and it is 2 in athe morning, i have to wait for my laundry to finish so i can't sleep on my bed, i tried 4 different mattress covers and none of them fit my fucking bed and all my clothes are dirty. i was looking forward to working becuase that way summer will go by quickly mand i would be back at school but fuck. i am not even on it yet. i wish i just stayed in kingston over the summer.

2 more things.

1. if you want to sing, please do not come to the library and hum
2. as tall as lions saved my life.

just one thing.

asians aren't assholes, they just don't care or recognize mistakes.

summer is here.

in reality i should be happy that i have a 4 month break to dick off and work. But actually I don't want to go. As much as i complained and hated it, i am going to miss it and everyone.

I have an exam tomorrow that i am not ready for. I have an assignment to tomorrow that is half wrong and not yet complete. I spent all my free time making andrew a card because he is leaving tomorrow when i shouldve been doing work. but it was too much fun. I love making cards and i am going to miss him so much.

It has been so nice everyday for the past week so, ultimately i can't focus. all i want to do it sit by the lake and tan or cuddle and not study, cause studying can suck my b.

I go home in like two days, and in a way i am sad and excited. I love being with my friends and family at home, and i miss my cat so much but i am going to miss being free at school. Although my dad isn't very limiting... humm. I am definitley going to miss andrew the most, ontario hall, fine arts, ban righ, side escapes, steps all that jazz, but i mean summer will be fun right?

camping? road trips? working ? (N)

schoooll will be awesome next year tho. I get my own house with my own room, back here near bedores. hujmmmm can't wait. but i should study now. cause i have exam tomorrow that i haven't started studying for yet. so yea.

i just had to.

one more thing.

i am a born ruffian

Art History.

basically ruins my life, i should be studying for womens studies but i have to do this thing and it is actually really hard this time, in the past it was fair, but like half the answers are like not even in the course ware!!! damn Early american films and moving pictures. Damn edison and horse fairs and visual arts and mixed film! I don't want to do work, especially because it is beautiful outside.

FUCKERS!

in most cases this is the best album to pull me through -



1. Quiet
2. our world is our ____
3. I believe in your Victory
4. Grandfather clock
5. Happiness: we're all in it together
6. There are some remedies worse then disease

THE I'MS.

so bored, tired, delerious, realizeing it is 1:30, dying to lie down, going to grab my brain and through it out the window it hurts so much, dying of minty texture glazed over my mouth, and so tired - going to go to bed.

BORN RUFFIANS

01. Born Ruffians - Red, Yellow, Blue
02. Born Ruffians - Barnacle Goose
03. Born Ruffians - Hummingbird
04. Born Ruffians - I Need a Life
05. Born Ruffians - Little Garçon
06. Born Ruffians - Badonk a Donkey
07. Born Ruffians - Foxes Mate for Life
08. Born Ruffians - Hedonistic Me
09. Born Ruffians - In a Mirror
10. Born Ruffians - Kurt Vonnegut
11. Born Ruffians - Red Elephant

head calmer.

band like this remind you what music can become.

The Wooden sky - just a few amazing tracks.
1. The Bird has Flown
2. Darker streets then mine
3. North Dakota
4. poor Caroline
5. when lost at sea
6. Wooden sky

I fear the summer will ruin it all, and I don't want that to happen.

this is me, as a lolcat of course.



i am so tired i can't even think, my eyeballs feel as if they are escaping from their sockets and about to explode.

and i want sushi.

today is a.....day

flip-flop, frappaiccino, Eisley, New found glory, green tea, cardigan, death cab, fun, awesome, picture, get a coffee and sit by the lake, read a book day, not a study, sunglasses, bright colour, knit, walk around, sit outside and play with the dirt, sketch, watermelon :) - or kiwi, picnic, listen to lots and lot of music, feist, as tall as lions, drive around and listen to loud music, coffee, scarf, bangs up, guitar playing, walking and stopping, telling dumb stories, The early november, sit on the steps, cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches, candy - lots of candy, cloud wathcing/bird wathcing, writing song, being with peopl, through you damn frizzbee, origami, pet dogs, relate to squirrels, draw fake tattoos, get milk shakes, talk about lovers, THE SHINS, sing sings in the streets, flats, smoothies!!!, java chip frapz with a shot of mint, whip cream, soup outside - cause it isn't too hot, BBQ"Z omg - i miss those so much, sit on the porch, pretend to get sit, have random destinations, conjure up plans that will never follow through, long talks, old music, ... today is not a study day.

just a few pictures i found while studying.

i was studying for music, and these are all famoous producers in specific genres of music. These pictures are wicked, so i posted them.

my life in a day.

wake up from andrew's -
come home-
shower -
got to class -
eat halfway through art is over -
leave -
no more classes for the rest of the day -
sit -
nip tuck with andrew -
library -
go home -
got to andrews -
sleep -
wake up and do it all over again. :)

but sometimes my extrememly bring schedule is interrupted was alcohol drugs or .... lolcats.com

Just recently.

I fell in love with this album, again.




As tall as lions - into the flood.
1. 505
2. into the flood
3. we are the ones that keep you warm
4. breaker
5. blacked out

into the flood (2) is definitly the best song on the album

i never really will understand.

I guess, i just realized i will never understand what is really going on at the moment. I am tired and just mentally exhausted and i want to go home and be with my family, because in the state, it is the only place i ultimately feel sane. Yet, i have the people i care so much about here, and it would make sense that i would fell that here, but i don't know, maybe i don't know what i want anymore. With school dwindling and my program being destroyed it makes me think of what i could do for the rest of my life, and as it now, it doesn't involve staying here. Sometimes i fell no relations to the people here, in a sense i know that that sounds depressing, but really i am not. i am just fed up with being here.

I miss enjoying time alone. now if i am alone i am bored and mad cause i am not with that person/people and i am sick of the feeling. but i don't want to loose those people i love those people and i couldn't even think of living without them. but, stability comes in different forms then alcohol, drugs, and being friendly.
I really don't want to go home this weekend but i think it would be good for me to leave this bubble behind and go to the one i know best, in oakville. i hate that place but at times like these i know it is the only thing that will make me feel better.

gah enough ranting. i fear what the opposite doesn't feel that same. humm i guess we will never know.

bye bye

today.

I hope this is just temporary, becuase i know nothing else then it. After yesterday and the reminder i miss it more then ever. And now i have somehting like it. and i don't want to continue to lose it all over again. it suck yeah whatever

i miss oakville.
as bad of a place that it is, i miss my family.
kingstin sucks - it is like the bad part of oakville,
but really there is nothing here that i would stay for.
other then my friends, andrew.
Not even the fact i am paying 6 grand to stay here throughout the year.
i would leave.

Right now i am so happy! i actually lovvvvveee doing work it is my favourite thing. I would be even happier if i had sushi because it is sooooo ghud! omg!??!111!!!

oh btw i h8 4NDR3W

it is hailing outside.

ok so, i came to the library to work on some essay stuff and, basicallyy it is hailing and i am so tired and i need a coffee but i can't get one cause it is hailing so bad, Nor can i leave the library to go home because it is so bad outside. odd? i think so. oh and the fact that my essay is about hermaphrodites and society, i am not as happy as i would like to be, there is only so much to say. i am hungry, but not really i just want to eat because i am bored of doing work, but i am so tired. bah! gah!

I felt like being witty.

Even though I so uncomfortable now i will force myslef to get in the shower. Having a bladder infection is actually terrible. Don't get it. All i want to do is drink gallons of water, sleep and sleep. maybe eat. I have so much work to do. and i am tried of it.

So i copied Natty poo because this is the only album that makes me happy. Actually, right now I could listen to it probably over and over and over. and over.



aren't they so cute!

here, listen wisely, fall in love.

lolcats.

superiorty

What is superiority? dominance? Especially through genetics? What we inherit?

I find it disgusting how we can put things, silly things, before blood. (I could relate this to the misery signals song, but that would be cheesy) Silly things/beliefs always take advantage of our responsibilities and importances that should be our first priority - before anything. I find it fucking ridiculous how we be so careless and still assume it is meaningless, like nothing could change one own mindset because they are way to narrow minded and arrogant. Taking advantage of a situation is one thing, but taking advantage of another's faith in you, is repulsive. At such a young age you are able to learn from the beginning that you cannot rely on one the the two people in the world your suppose to - but you just learn to deal. But, totally you cannot hate this person, you can't turn your back or get away, because in all honesty it doesn't seem that bad over all, because you have learned to cope with the whole messed up situation. Like before it was bad, now it is worse. All we have is this and and to them, we are nothing but mere subject in the message given world. Like fuck, things shitty happen all the time but in a certain situation, I think, your mindset would transform from that, you would grow? No - further away you separate yourself from a true understanding of a family. As if i was the individual in the situation i would escape, but when THAT is all the individual has - THAT is what you grow to know and you come accustom to it.

If i ever become a person like that - desert me.

sunrise, sunrise.

To end this eventful day, I listen to Norah Jones to help me attempt for the 3 time to fall asleep.

I can't sleep.

I am so tired.

This sucks.

As sad as this sounds, I can't sleep alone. If i am not sleeping with AK and I am with the roomie, and if not her, A Green and if not and I am alone - I don't sleep. Or I bring Dre in here but he makes so much noise and wants to leave. But how could I turn down this.



Too cute for life basically.

I woke up this morning with a throbbing head ache - it must have been the beer the night before. Oh, and flats in the winter are not a good idea. Do not do it. It is bad. I don't care how good you want to look, My feet almost fell off last night. But this morning was a hard attempt to get out of bed. After i finally got up, I had to say bye to AK - which I didn't like. But, i am going to windsor on tuesday so it should be fun. Got back to res, ate, and tried to regain proper thoughts. Erik came down to k-town and we drove home which was a sweet road trip.



Then once got home played some GH3. That is just what we do. And visited the Nikster at workie/my work. where she was workin hard like i told her to. hehe!

valentines day.

Today is valentine's day. The hallmark holiday. I remember when i didn't have a date at the time i hated valentines day. Seriously there is no point to it, (omg homecoming just came on on random). But, there is actually no importance for this day other then to show the person you are with how much you care about them. when, i guess if you did it too often it wouldn't be as exciting , but you should do it randomly, and valentines day is just so cheesy. it is lame.

i found a funny picture of a gold fish today.



sometimes i wish i looked like that.

my rant about the typicals.

Today i returned home to the beautiful city of Toronto, honestly i was so excited to be home, I actually missed it. I missed the city i missed my friends, family, all that jazz. I meet up with nat at the Go station which was sweet cause I haven't seen her is forever. She had to work so she left, but it was awesome to see my sister for a while. But, you know i'll see everyone this weekend so i am excited. I meet up with my brothers on front street where we started our expedition to shop. Parked and walked. Out first stop, American apparel and i just have to say one thing. As much as i love it, its contents and the appeal to it, I hate everything about it. I hate the when I go in there I am immediately judged. I mean I can be a hypocrite because i jude people, and i know i do. I don't mean to judge people, but recently i have just become critical of everything. But, As i walk in, so excited from seeing my family and shopping, one of my favorite things to do, i get put into a bad mood. I actually can't have a ridiculous conversation with my family without someone in american apparel adding there opinion to the conversion. Even i don't do that. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. They have to be stuck-up enough to not have stupid conversations and be ridiculous. it is really irritating and i wish people would just get over themselves once in a while.


Not even that i am getting sick of american apparel. It is so expensive for stuff i can make for much cheaper. and after today i decided i am not going to buy anything. I still respect it for what it is and what it stands for and think it is a great cause, but especially in kingston, i am sick of wearing the same thing as everyone else. And like the whole 'trend' that comes along with places like american apparel is ridiculous and outrageous.

flustered.

Yeah I am flustered, so what? I actually woke up for my 8:30 tutorial today for art history and realized, in class I am the only only who appreciates photography as silly as it sounds. We talk about how a lot of photography is just documentations or people or events. but like it can be art too, right? like mug shots. They are documentations but what about andy warhols (even though I do like enjoy his work) he made print of mug shots. And out of everything it was his most interesting works.





personally it is like the only thing that is interesting he did.

A Green is sleeping in dana's bed, which I think is silly. Whenever one of us disappear for a night, the other is hear with him, it is sorta just how it works. I have been up since 8 and have done nothign really productive. I've looked at photo's that i could do for my painting and listened to some loud bands and got black tea all over my comforter. Which is awwweessommmeee. so now i am waiting on laundry and empire records to finish down loading.

I have A midterm tonight and I don't know how i feel about it. i studied for a long time last night. So long that i had to stop because i couldn't type properly anymore because everything was misspelled or doubled, basically nonsense.


i tottally forgot i was writing this because i was too busy enjoying old alkaline trio. soo good i miss them, well matt skiba. so cute!

how my mind works.

I am not a very complicated person. In my up most efforts I try to be witty, but instead I think and translate everything through vibrations and vibrant appeal. I am putting all my effort into sitting up straight and studying but with the amount of coffee I have had my mind wonders and i begin to imagine things as outlined sketches. Just think of it as like that movie 'waking life' without the colours and shadows. Simply outlines. Everything is so simple and interesting. everything is just made up out cross hatching and lines. Fun eh?

for my next painting I get to paint anything I want. Fun? errrr hard. Immediately i was going to do an octopus. but then, natty poo helped my locate this beauty.



Get band by the name of Trash Talk, check them out. It is different from the hardcore that is out now, it is good. give them a listen. I am not positive if i will do this painting but the colours are great, most likely it will be something similar to this. Go it alone has some great photos too. But i want something with colour.



I have a midterm tomorrow. and should be working.

my eyes burn.

So I haven't written in a while. I had a very eventful weekend, which started out with a beer, no dinner. awesome. Finally being able to enjoy the extradites of what the local kingston night life has to offer me, I snatch at the chance. Tokyo Police club and the Coast made their way to the lovely town of kingston. The coast opened with a half decent set, the guys were adorable and their music was catchy, basically a lot like TPC. But i got some good photos of them, so it was worth the front row experience.



he was adorable. But, TPC came on. they were good, they have so much energy when they preform which was amazing. The key boardist was actually fascinating to watch, he like flew across the stage making an amazing display and keeping me attentive because i didn't know their new songs that were being played.

I also went to montreal this weekend with the AK, which was super fun, and we at pizza everyday, which was gross, but soooo tastey at the same time. MOntreal seriously is so beautiful, it is like toronto but with greater esthetics's. Shopping wasn't amazing, not different then toronto, if not, not as good. But the hotel we stayed at was balllllaaaa. ;) I want that bed even though it is like like 3 and a half times bigger then the one i have now it is huuuggggeee.

We went to the casino, which was fun but almost died on the way there. Because of the storm the roads were terrible and the taxi driver thought it would be a fun idea to speed and almost hit the side of the wall, like 5 times. annyywaayyy, i didn't win a car or any money but it was fun.

when i got home i had like 3 project to do and almost died. Now I have to start a painting, complete and do well on a mid term for thursday and do an essay for monday that i don't want to do and pretend i am a lesbian for it. :@:@:@:@:@: sldkkjfsdvcsldvh not cool.

i have to clean my room,
byez.

It always put me in the mood.

After hours beyond hours of painting, I can't feel my back or my feet and I am kinda thirsty. Poop. This song Always puts me in the mood for anything. (The teenagers - Homecoming) seriously when they were writing this song, they were prolly like .. let's write a mood changing anthem, cause for realz, it is just way to good. I need a break for this painting business and go see tokyo police club tonight. I am so excited they are coming, finally some entertainment in kingston.

I think there is someone living in the ceiling in the art studio. it is so creepy. There is rustleing and like footsteps. but no actually I am just playing. But it is pretty scary, some times the vents will move and like i feel like the walls are going to fall down on me. and i don't like it.

I think it would look something like this.



LAWLZ11!!! just because it is so weir looking! and secretly minus the red eyes i think it is cute. hahahah hahahahahHQh. so good.

Yesterday nat showed me the biggest circle pit ever. haha, enough said.

When i found the picture of the weird animal haunting the art art studio i found this. they are so cute, and i did an art project on it before.



see you!

its like watching paint dry.

Sit and watch paint dry, honestly is it an interesting process. For my next art project I chose to attempt the bright neon lights casted into the sky, for realz bro. I should be listening to rhapsody right now and singing about knights and swords. But in truth I am bringing the past back, listening to awkward bands from grade 8 and 9. Like NFG, TSL, fullblast, Moneen and then i realized, I still listen to these bands. sicckkkkk.

I watched and american night,are video to, and I miss that band so much. I wish i got to see them before they broke up. Hearing AM/PM is the the highlight of my day everytime i listen to it, because it is so darn good! they were a premium hardcore band that, like all hardcore bands break up. Not fair. I better get to go see the verse. This is not a joke. I miss seeing the energy from the bands and the love from the crowd.

i have to paint until my dayz end.

discovery.

I was lurking the Juxtapoz extremely hard and I found this artist named Andrew Pommier.

at home on a saturday night.

So, it is about 11:40 on a exceptionally nice Saturday night. Not that I can complain, i don't have a fake id, and was unable to enjoy what the classy Ale house had to offer me on a fine night like this. But I choose to stay in a explore the wonders on the internet and frantic downloads to make up for the excitement I have, Unfortunately missed out on. I could say that night was unbearable, but I discovered this wonderful band called Beirut, and they are amazing. It is a mix of Owen Palette meets Devandra with music lessons from members of Grizzly Bear. It is a strong suggestion to check then out, his voice is really unique and the Bango gives it a nice feel. Alos, they make me feel like my exploration through numerous web links feel more like an adventure then a cover for my unimpressive boredom. Not to mention that i am sick, once again. It really doesn't makes any sense. I just got better or started to feel as it i was getting better and NOPE! i am ill and tired and bored, and those three mixed together are never good and could lead to ridiculous results. I have this endless congested feeling and I can't breath, well i can but i hate when you are sleeping and you have to breath through your mouth. You either end up snoring or drooling, both of which are extremely embarrassing and uncomfortable.

Now i have moved on to attacking the downloading program. One, it doesn't work and two, i can never find anything remotely interesting on it when it decides to work. I saw the trailer, well Jek told me about it, this movie called Eagle vs. shark. I heard about it before and it is by the same people as the Squid and the Whale and i did not enjoy that movie. I mean it was good and interesting but after the movie i hated everyone in it and left me feeling uncomfortable. I guess in a way the would classify it as a good movie because in the end i did feel something, whether is was good or bad. Still, maybe i'll give it another chance because everyone seems determined to get it through my head that it is ... sooooooo goooodddddddddddd.

I guess that I could do work and actually get stuff done. I am so far behind in school, i am drowning in work it is unbelievable. To make matters worse I signed up for a Womens studies course. It woudn't be so bad if we actually learned what we are arguing about but no, instead we sit there listening to my professor implant these ideas in our heads that us women are doomed for life. When in my opinion if we stopped dwelling about this things would probably get much better.

Anywhoo, i feel so sick. gn'igt

the end.

As Tall As Lions is probably the best thing to happen in a while. The new like albumish/epish/ songs is so good, Since the Flood. Download it errr, get it soon so damn good. Josh darn it! but Actually it is like inspirational it is so good, well all their music is and this just adds to it and makes it 10 times better, with all the candy in the world! If that makes any sense at all, basically just get it. now!

And latley i just don't understand people, we change so much into these people that we want to be or we think would be better for the other person. How does it come to this? it is like a endless cycle and once you realize the cycle starts all over again. The course changes but you always end up at the same place, and have to ask yourself the same questions. But is there really a need to push everythinh into something important. Like do we really need to make this huge annoying deal out of everything and always be right! nooooo, give it up. Make things what they are, not always important but not useless. I feel likkkkkeee we are trying to hard. Just way to Hard and need to let go.

On another note, i am stressed as hell man. school is so hard and i am so far behind. I have a painting due in a week and i have no clue what to do. External or internal, which or what? It is lame. I have to shower tho.



listenlistenlistenlisten.

i can't get enough.

i just can't get enough of this wombats album, it is so good. i want to see them live so bad, but they are only playing in Europe for the next little while.


I didn't go to class today. Which is not very good, but i am sick so i have a reason not to. Strep throat is really a disgusting thing. my entire tongue is inflamed and i have a giant neck because my glands are so swollen. If i am able to open my mouth all the way, because i can't, i can se eall those gross sores on my glands making them look like blisters on my glands. and gross. it wouln't be so bad if i could just swallow, I cannot eat and when i do it takes me like 3 times the amount of time it normally does, and i am sick of eating soup and like jello to like calm it down.

EFFING@ SHAKESPHERE IS A PIECE OF SHIT! I have been ttrying to get music for the longest time, because kingston is deprived of music stores the carry independent artists and i cannot retrive these albums, it dones't make sense, or basically it is not fair.

studio

here i am back in the studio doing/attempting to complete a shitty ass painting that is ruining plain clean peice of canvas. And it is times like these where i wish i was in design, i like computers. alot. this sucks i hate painting and i wish i could do it but i can't it isn't cool guy. What doesn't help is the fack that i am sick now and my throat feels like a separate part of my neck. no cool.

I found out, that there is a giant tiger in ktown!?!?! who would know. sicccckkk, that was prolly the best part of my day, when i found out that.

i am waiting for the gesso to dry, and it takes long and i have to do a whole painting tonight, which is super lamesauce. forgot the polariod even though they are super fun, I am doing a Tampon. which is sick. i love tamps............. kdob just told me she doesn't like m.i.a. she sucks.

I SIGNED A LEASE ON A HOUSE TODAY. i own a house... maddd respeecctttzzzzz ssooonnnn. just be ready for some dinner parties! anyway, paint time payce,

sooo

Basically it took me like and hour and a half to get ready this morning and that is skipping my 8:30 tutorial, that i woke up for and just didn't want to go to. so now i have to go to art then wait to go to my 6:30 class which is music, which isn't bad minus the fact that it is 3 hours long, which is a super drag. no fun. and i realized today that i need a fake id. res is getting boring and tokyo police club is coming and i cannot attend. which isn't fun. i am going to eat payce

burning.

I have starring at the computer for 3 and a half hours. It actually feels like my eyes are turning and circling in my sockets. it was weird? cause i sure think it is and i want to rip them out. I full out blame it on this blog but i love it, and making t-shirts on illustrator. i can't get enough. it is just so fun, and Andrew just started playing born ruffians, so cute. the lead singer looks like bambi.

anyway andrew k is hurr payce

gets me all excited inside.

the beginning.

the sound of dynamite!

Anyway, (lawlz, unforgiveable) but for realz.

I just got back from art class and realized, i am fucked! i have so much work to do and poop. and i've decided to do my still life as a polaroid camera. it is pretty sweet actually

That guy right there. Also, i got some sweet ideas for t-shirt/prints that are soon to come, which is super cool sauce. i forgot how good The Early november is. and i am listening to the All for this EP. which is definitly the best album to come out of those few years they were together.

SOMEONE! i do not know who! cut up my free admission pass to AGO! who was it!? even thought it is closed and will be for a while i want it!

this blog is actually, taking up so much of my time, i could be reading or at the studio or something productive but instead I post pictures or what i am listening to on this, poop.

omgomgomgomgomgogmgomgomgom

this is why i love lolcats.

this is why i love james jean.

HIST121

So, Mandi and Alex think my blogs are too short, hoes.
lawlz! In an attempt to make it to all my classes today i made it to a half a class in which i still have to do a 30 page reading. humm, reading readinng reading, i hate it. Also, i have a meeting with the DF today, about a noise complaint, which is lame sauce. She is supershort and has a a gulping voice. if that makes sense. it sounds like every time she is going to talk she takes a gulp of air and pushes it out when she takes. i don't like it. she is creeppyyy and kind of looks like a munchkin! (sorrry but it is true.)

I have to go to the studio and work on my 5 studies, and try to progress in painting, but it is lamesauce and i picked a super hard still like and i don;t get it. poop. i woke up at 6:30 am today. it was good.

anywho reads time.

Support your local artists.

NATALY KIM!



check her out.
http://www.natalykim.com

New program,

I got a new program called freemind.

I don't get it.

first day of blogging.

I got this blogspot, hosted by blogger and this font is ugly.

I got this Album today by The Wombats.



Check it out it is pretty darn good. They are straight out of Manchester.

Honestly, Womens Studies is the worst class in the world, strya away, far far away....

payce!